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Simon at 20


Me at 21


Granjena at 26


Sam at 12

The stories about two cats, me, and a dog.





The first cat story is about Granjena


I wrote about her in my book, “Consciousness, Spirit, Soul and...the Ego”, published in 2008.
14 years earlier I bought a house I live in now. Shortly after I moved in with my three children, an old, angry cat, that lived four houses down from us decided to pack up her bags, and move in. She sat on our front stoop and didn’t
want to leave. She was a rough-looking hoodlum of a cat. Mean, whiny, and scratched at anything that walked upright. Anytime someone wanted to move her she would attack at great speed, her claws almost turning into ninja stars. Only her owners, our neighbours, could move her, but any time they would take her home she would be right back within a few hours, sitting at our front door. We stopped using the front door out of fear of being scratched and bitten by this fur-ball of anger. After 5 months of trying to ignore her intention, I gave up. She started looking hopeless, skinny and sick, but somehow I knew that she would rather die than give up her plan. My children begged me not to let her in. Who wants to have a mean, angry cat for a pet, when we already had a lovely cat Simon living with us?
I explained to them that we are chosen by her to help her and we have to do it. She was 14 years old at that time. It took me two years to help her heal and know in an every cell that she will never be harmed in our house. This cat taught me to love all beings unconditionally. Well... if it’s conditional it’s not love. Love comes only in size “large, unconditional” It is easy to love an animal that is cuddly and happy. Try to love a mean and angry cat. Any time things didn’t go her way she would use her ninja-like fighting technique and attack our other cat Simon and then lash out at us. Every time she would get angry in my presence, I would put my hand on her head and would tell her to calm down. I would reassure her that she would not be punished and would never again be rejected. My message was that she would only be loved. After the initial fear of punishment she would soon understand that I am touching her head to calm her down and give her love. Instead of cowering she would look relieved. After two years you could see a complete change in her. She was no longer a scrawny old cat full of motes in her long hair, with a limping hip that made it hard for her to climb the stairs. She was also unable to meow (as we were informed by her previous owners), only hiss and growl, and indeed, when she opened her mouth to make a meow nothing came out, but a woof of her foul breath. Within the first year she learned to groom herself regularly. I showed her how to get rid of her multiple mots on her belly. I would take each mot and cut a few times perpendicularly to the skin and would pull loosen up hair out of the mot until it was gone. Initially she would object with a hiss, but quickly got a message that it needs to be done and I am not scared of her hissing. Within the first few mots she joined me in and started pulling the hair until her whole underbelly was clean and soft. She never had a mot since that first grooming with me. The foul smell of her breath was gone, hair was shiny, the pain in her hips disappeared without the use of medications. Two years from the time she moved in with us she began to look beautiful and healthy.
She started running, purring, and would make variety of sounds, including meowing, initially rather weak, but eventually she would make a variety of sounds to carry a proper conversation. There would be “please” , “yes”, “thank you” and some more.
She began looking into people’s eyes. She would look for love and when you would beam your love at her she would lock
her eyes with yours until she got her full dose, at times for a good few minutes. Then, she would close her eyes and fall asleep.
When somebody would not offer her love she would turn her head away and would sit looking melancholic.
When she needed love she would follow me from room to room or in the garden and she didn’t want just to be petted.
She wanted to be held and have you look into her eyes with love in your heart, and when she spotted it, she took that love like
it was the last one on Earth. I never saw an exchange so palpable before.
When she hooked into my eyes she didn’t waste a drop of what was shining at her.
Slowly, I would say within 5 years, she became an absolutely beautiful, peaceful cat.
Many times I thought that she would die, as she was 20 and started to show her age.
My children kept hoping she'd beat records as the oldest living cat in the world.
She finally died at the age of 26.
Days before her death, she communicated her intention to me as obviously, as it would be a full verbal statement.
She stopped eating, and when I noticed it a day later she made it clear that I know what was about to happen.
In response I told her that she is free to go, as she came to us, all by her own volition.
That she can go into the light, and I will find her there one day. I thanked her for her life with us,
I thanked her for all the learning she brought in our lives and for the love she evoked and exchanged.
A few days later she stopped drinking and the next day it was clear that it was Granjena’s day to die.
I prepared a white towel bed for her and placed it in a bathroom, as I thought she would leak some body fluids after death.
When I lifted her to lay her there she was very light and limp. I could hear her saying “thank you” and she died within
few minutes, without pain or any sign of discomfort. She prepared herself beautifully for her departure and even a drop of
body fluid didn’t came out of her. She died perfectly, and with a clear communication of her amazing mind.
When I went with a friend, a few kilometres from our house to bury her in the forest, digging for her grave we heard a sound
of a shovel hitting a metal. We looked at each other puzzled and excited... “what could that be in the middle of nowhere?”
After digging some more, to our amazement my friend pulled out from the ground an old, rusty, yet perfectly preserved a horseshoe.
My beloved Granjena gave me a good luck symbol as a thank-you gift. We both started crying...
My love for this cat became my blueprint of how to love all beings, not only the humans, which was easy to learn with my three children, but to love all life with no exceptions.




The second cat’s story is about Simon.


He came to our home on a request of my middle daughter Rosa, who wanted a cat for the last 3 years, but since after returning from Poland, we lived in a rented house, we couldn’t get a pet. 
So, as soon as I bought a house and all our stuff was moved in, we made a trip to the local Humane Society animal shelter. 
There were many cats sitting in the cages, usually two per cage, but as soon as we walked in an orange tubby kitten, sitting alone in one of the first cages,
stuck his paw out and started meowing with a demanding tone. When we approached him he looked as if he was saying: “Finally! Get me out of here!” 
Since there were many more cats to look at, we passed his cage and as soon as he realized that we are not acting fast, and according 
to his intention his meowing became more commanding and frantic. 
There was no way to dismiss it and now I know that he picked us with a clear reason.. 
When we asked at the front desk to get him for us, we heard: “Are you sure? He is a very lively cat” 
Yes, we were sure and yes, he was very lively. We named him Simon. 
He was 3 months old, found roaming streets in December and in the Northern Ontario it can be cold. Simon was street smart and very aware and rather scared of sounds of cars. 
In the Summer he would leave every night, to come back in the morning with a gift of a dead mouse or a bird, and in the second Summer he brought us a sizable partridge!
He most likely killed it in the forest about a kilometer from the house, and Simon was not a big cat. What an effort he had to put in it! 
Simon was not a neurotic, needy cat. He made sure that you see the gift and didn’t ever wait for a praise, as if he would be saying: ”You got it? Good, no need to thank me, it’s my job, enjoy it.” 
Apart from that there is not much to write about Simon in his first 10 years of life with us. 
The focus was on my three children and when he was less than a year old we were chosen by Granjena, who required a lot of love, connection, communication, care.
So, Simon was just a cat, rather aloof and non-cuddly. Not drawing much of an attention, 
except when swatting Granjena over her head, obviously to aggravate her for his fun, usually when she would be sleeping. 
That was his pay-off for her earlier, nasty behavior. 
After Granjena died and my last kid left for university, Simon became my only being in the house I focused on, and he milked it! 
I moved my office from downtown location to my house and Simon became a fixture in my therapy room. 
He picked his sleeping spot on a spare computer chair next to me, facing the loveseat of my clients. 
Often he would react to client’s emotional state with a stir, sound and a glance or, when needed a glare at them. 
Many people commented that they feel like he is disturbed by their problems and saying to them: 
“I am listening, I am part of your session, I don’t smell the truth here, better shape up!” 
They would often apologize to Simon for bringing their human mess to him, which initially we would find amusing, but, with time, 
with each client, who would recognize Simon’s upset with their drama, we would appreciate his participation. 
Clients’ focus on shifting from the ego, emotional, painful state to the authentic, peaceful, truthful position, just for Simon’s sake, 
became the standard reminder to clients to see deeper, work harder, shift faster, and all by his doing. 
I had never pointed that out before client’s noticed his inevitable stirring, as always in the moments of heightened emotionality. 
Getting faster in a proper mental shape, only not to disturb Simon, became an ongoing joke, with all the truth in it. 
He also helped me to recognize that emotions are only property of the ego programs. 
Authentic has no emotions, it has feelings, which all stem from one – feeling of love. 
Emotions run from the brain through the pathways of nervous system, affecting the rest of the body through the brain chemistry. 
They are deceptive and addictive. They scramble our connection with own truth, replacing it with a positionality of interests of ego. 
They create a perception of boredom of life without emotions, compelling humans to seek and create events for a new emotional hit. 
They are fleeting, and leave no lasting effects on values and choices, and they are a waste of time. 
Feelings, however... But,back to Simon. 
 I will write my lessons from Simon in a separate essay, because this one is his story, and what a story it is. 
For all those who had witnessed Simon's direct and clear communication about their state of mind, what he have done is still amazing, but it's understandable, even obvious. For others it might be unbelievable. 
It all began with my decision in the summer of 2014 to permanently move to Costa Rica. The question was what to do with Simon. 
There were two options: 
1. he is going to come with me and will adjust to all the differences of the climate and surroundings, 
2. he is going to move with Rosa, his original owner, who often comes for visits, but she has a dog Emilia, whom Simon over the last 
9 years slowly accepted, but was far from being cozy with. Both options, to me, didn't look easy on him. 
He lived in our house for 19 years and was not going to be happy with any changes, even if he would be possibly adopted by a new owner of the house, it wouldn't be enough. My attentiveness to his needs, my communication with him and his respect for our connection 
was dead giveaway that he will be heart broken when I will be gone. 
The way how we would get each other was becoming more obvious. 
Three years ago I told him not to poo in the litter box in the waiting room of my office. The box was set there for an emergency pee only. 
He had another litter box in the entrance hall from the garage, where the smell would not spread to mine, and my client's space. 
One would wonder how I told him. How I made him to understand. 
I said exactly as I wrote here. I didn't repeat five times, didn't shout or stick his nose in it. I said it once and he never did it again.
 Another communication that he got and respected was about him coming in the night to my bedroom to sleep on my bed, and that would be fine, but he would announce his exit and entrance many times a night, with all kinds of meowing, often right above my ear.
I tolerated it for years, but one night he woke me up at least five times and I had enough. I picked him up and took him to the top of the stairs, with a message that he is not allowed to come to my bedroom, but he turned around and started walking back.
This time I was more forceful. I brought him back and pushed his bum down the stairs. He turned around and looked at me reproachfully.
I apologized for the push, but my decision was final. He clearly got the message and he never came upstairs again
When passing the stairs he looked like he was fighting an urge to go upstairs. He would stop for a moment, look up and hesitantly start walking away from it. You could hear him saying: ''Fine, if that's so important I will respect her wish.'' 
He would send me his messages of needs so clearly that it was not too hard to understand, and with a few exceptions caused by my own 
distractions, I would cater to him ''immediately or even sooner'', as my saying goes. 
For a year between summers of 2014 and 2015 Simon exhibited states of neediness and antsy-ness that was not at all typical for him. 
I new that he is affected by my decision to move. Was he already considering the options and making decision of his own. 
In August of 2015 I put the house for sale and I bought a ticket to Costa Rica. 
A few days later I found Simon sleeping in his litter box in the waiting room... I picked him up, dusted him off and gave him a lot of love. 
Searching internet I learned that his action indicates that he is dying or is very sick. 
He became weak and lifeless. Every time I found him in the litter box I would get him out of there and hold him for as long as it was 
needed to bring life back in him. I would repeat to him a message full of love that he is not going to die, that we will figure out the next best place for him to live in and he will be happy. In his mind that was debatable, but after 3 weeks of me working against his intention to die, he stopped sleeping in the litter box. 
His plan didn’t work. 
He became strong and looked healthy again. I was relieved and hopeful that his intention not to move anywhere else, but to heaven, went away. 
I was leaving for Costa Rica on October 12th and on the September 30th Simon stopped eating. 
He would always have leftovers from the day on one plate and I would give him a fresh food for the night on another, and both plates would be empty every morning. That morning I came downstairs to find his two plates of food full. I threw it out and gave him a new, fresh food for the day, he didn't touch it. I added another plate for the night. Next morning I found them untouched. 
The same next day. It was clear - he decided to starve himself to death. And I decided, no, not on my watch. 
Third day I opened a can of his favorite tuna and brought it to his chair in my office. 
He looked at the food, looked at me... and clearly said: ''fine'', got up and started eating. He ate and ate and ate. 
By the end of the day both plates of his regular food were empty and he asked for more. I was greatly relieved. 
I am leaving for Costa Rica and strong and healthy Simon is moving in with Rosa for now, where everyone was waiting to great him and spoil him. 
All appeared to be going accordingly to my plan.
Well... not really. 
It was Saturday, October 3rd and I had a morning session with a woman, who knew Simon well, since she was coming for her weekly sessions 
for the last 4 years. There was nothing in particular about their relationship, pretty much the same as with others with an exception of my housekeeper. Simon was never disturbed nor overly friendly with anyone. 
Often, as with anybody else, he would be fast asleep on his pillow-topped chair, but not that day. As soon as she sat down, Simon got up very alert, moved towards the edge of his chair, and leaned with a nose forward and the eyes as big as saucers, staring at her, frozen. 
We were both very surprised and slightly spooked. 
She was asking me what does he want, and I didn't know, because who would believe in his message, even if one would receive it clearly. 
I got from him saying to her: ''you are important'', but not a clue why. 
Four days later, on Wednesday Oct. 7th, the husband of the woman that Simon stared at on Saturday, came to me for a business visit and when he was leaving around 8 PM Simon rushed to the door pushing himself between us indicating an urge to go out. 
When I opened the door I noticed how unusual it was that he didn't care how cold it was outside. 
Simon was very aware of weather and the nights already became close to 0 C. Usually it would take a few paw shaking, a bit of thinking, and a few attempts to cross the threshold before Simon would go out on a cold night like this, but not this time. Before I leaned to pet him on his way out, he was gone. I made a note of this “out of ordinary act of Simon”. 
After the man left, less than a minute later I heard a frantic bang on the door. When I opened the door my guest from a moment ago, stood there looking pale and distressed, saying: ''this is bad'', ''this is bad'', ''your cat is dead''. 
I run out and Simon was lying dead on my driveway. 
He finally did it. 
He couldn't pick a better man to execute his decision. The man, understanding the possibility of Simon's intention wouldn't feel guilty. 
Bad, yes, but not guilty. 
He picked up Simon from my driveway and promised to bury him in his lake side backyard on the native land, next to the grave of his cat. 
He promised that his wife, being a native, and an educator of Ojibwa traditional ceremonies, will perform a proper animal spirit ceremony. 
4 days earlier Simon told her ''you are important'' and now I know why. 
Few things couldn't support an accident concept. 
Remember that Simon was street smart and very aware and rather scared of sounds of cars. 
The man's car had a broken muffler and the sound level of him driving out was way higher than normal. 
He placed himself under the front wheel, which means he would have to be completely under the car. 
Many things were telling that he made a decision to end his life and he stuck to it. 
I chose to believe that he made an offering of his life to liberate me from a responsibility and obligation to him. 
He wanted me to be free to create a new life, full of new obligations and he decided to unburden me from an obligation to him. 
He was a clear thinker and a brave decision maker. 
His life and his death are a testimony to grandness of life and the mind that supports it. 
No matter how small is the living being and how insignificant its life looks to us, the same one mind, the mind of all-ness runs it intelligently, 
perfectly, without fail. What it obviously needs is a grateful, an intelligent observer and participant to interact with, than all becomes clear. 
But that's not easy to accomplish... tread softly, you might become one.

The story about Sam, the dog continues to be written.