One of the most confusing topics in raising children is teaching and implementing discipline.
Not in a distant past, 30 years or so, beating children, euphemistically called corporal punishment, was an inherent part of disciplining.
Generation after generation, humanity grew more aware that it was wrong way of teaching children and generation after generation
they failed to follow through with their intention to change.
A human ego is tenacious. You try to push it a notch towards new, it will look agreeable, only when you think you succeeded, it returns to the same old programing with much greater force. However, with every attempt of an aware parent the program “don’t spare the rod” became weaker and ability to stop it grew stronger, until one day humanity went full steam ahead and tipped the scale of change.
Of course when the scale tips it goes all the way down to the other side before it returns to the middle. Now we are still down in the other side.
We have at least two generations of young people, who have no understanding of self-discipline and a generation of parents who have no confidence in showing own children consequences for doing unacceptable; waste, harm, irreverence, greed... usual ego ploys.
The loss of understanding what discipline means is a result of not only a fear of becoming an abuser, but also a lack of trust in wisdom of children.
Not seeing that every child is a timeless being, who comes to this life with own path to walk, own plan for fulfillment, even own name, left parents convinced that they are responsible only for the teaching children about endless aspects of the outside world.
Their responsibility for hearing voice of the child’s authentic inner world, at this point, drowned by mass of trivial information, is commonly left unfulfilled. Without being heard by parents, those who suppose to get you, the voice of authentic child will become unrecognized, undifferentiated in his mind as well.
Left on mercy of ego programs, which are not too kind to the world of others and with a closer look never kind to self, a child will create pain and will waste a lot of experiences before he arrives to authentic conclusions.
The remedy is a discipline of the ego (that is trying with all it’s might to waste human life), while staying loving and connected to the authentic of both - you and the child.
And here we have two problems.
Parents see their missing competence in forms and measures of disciplining their children, but because they were also left on mercy of ego programs and nobody taught them how to recognize a difference between programing of the computer, they will not trust themselves in their choices of discipline.
Second problem is that when they seek help from a professional, they inevitably end up with someone who doesn’t know either, because their competence is based on an education by an institution, founded by ego to serve the ego. There is no University that I know of, that will teach psychotherapy I speak about, and practice.
Every academic that is vocal about it, and there are very few, risks to be ostracized and eventually fired, because the ego is in power in educational institutions.
It’s quack-academics out there. Promoting, funding and making a big deal out of repetitive, limited, uncreative, small-minded research is not by accident or habit.
It is intentional position of the ego in order to stay in charge. Promoting only those, who will do what they are told, do the same what others before them, laugh at, criticize, and join in rejecting those who are authentically contributing in the evolution of humanity, is the ego’s way to hold on to the reins.
But what about parents?
Parents, first learn to hear your own authentic voice, it will give you have courage to be unpopular for a day and popular in many years to come.
Discipline that you will show and teach is a blueprint how to be in charge of own ego for the child’s whole life. Without it they will struggle to experience and accomplish what they came here for.
The authentic part of the child will be grateful.